Why Women Find Bad Boys So Attractive Even Though We Know They're Trouble
BeginningsBest Of. Do you know the difference between dating a boy versus dating a man? If not, read up! When I was in my early twenties, if a guy acted aloof, called back only sometimes and showed minimal interest, I would get hooked. Basically, the theory explains that we are attracted to people who can wound us the same way we were wounded in our childhood, as our psyche tries to recreate the past void and save us by changing its ending. Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which hurt us the most as children. So games used to work on me because 1 I had unresolved daddy issues and 2 At the tender age of 20, I was trying to figure out who I was and to top it off, I was ridden with insecurity and a low sense of self-worth. I learned to love myself.
It seems as if almost every absence and need we have is attentively paired with its exact opposite. This can especially be seen when looking at the types of people we date. We date a certain brand of person until we decide we are no longer interested in so as to type. Then, we try to acquire the exact opposite -- convincing ourselves we are testing out the waters and figuring out what exactly it is we are looking for all the rage a partner.
Thanks to a recent study, this is now scientifically verifiable. The research it refers to is a study published earlier this year, which suggested so as to some men smoke and drink as this makes them more attractive immediate partners. One way to investigate the issue is to present women along with hypothetical men with different personality types and see which ones they choose. In one such study , participants had to help a fictional appeal named Susan choose a date as of three male contestants, based on their answers to her questions. In individual version, the man was nice — he was in touch with his feelings, caring and kind. The third contestant simply gave neutral answers.