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Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere. It's easy to assume that being in a long-term relationship such as a marriage must automatically protect you from loneliness, but in reality, it's very possible to be married but lonely. It's actually relatively common to feel alone in a marriage: One in three married people over age 45 report being lonely, according to a AARP national survey. But that doesn't mean loneliness in a marriage is necessarily normal. If you feel alone in a marriage, it's often a sign that there's an underlying issue in the relationship or in your own personal life that must be addressed.

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Affection alone while sharing life with a partner may sound impossible to definite people, but relationship experts say it happens when the connection becomes below par. Part of the problem may be the high expectations people have of marriage and their spouses in all-purpose. A partner is expected to be the best friend, excellent lover, accurate intimate, fun entertainer, stimulating intellectual after that more — but one relationship was never meant to provide such a diverse fulfillment of needs, Schwartz celebrated. That puts a lot more accent on the couple relationship, said co-author Ashley Ermer, an assistant professor of family science and human development by Montclair State University in Montclair, Additional Jersey. Women are the ones who often plan and organize family gatherings and outings with friends for the couple so her level of socializing — or isolation — becomes his. Having friendships also seemed key: Spouses who consistently reported good social connections were more likely to avoid appropriate lonely in marriage, the study bring into being. Women especially may benefit from commonly meeting up with friends, it celebrated. For men, it was more a propos the tension in the relationship: Husbands who perceived their marriages as anxious felt lonelier.